On tour: Meet the author John Scalzi

John Scalzi’s books include Lock In and Redshirts (both Hachette). He is travelling to Supernova in Melbourne and Swancon in Perth in April.

What would you put on a shelf-talker for your book? 
The author loves to eat, and sleep in a house, and thus would be obliged if you purchased this fine, fine novel. And now here is a picture of the author’s cat. It also likes to eat and sleep in houses. You know what to do.

What are you reading right now?
I am writing a novel right now, and am on deadline, so I am not reading anything now, otherwise my editor may tase me. In fact, he would probably tase me if he knew I was doing this instead of writing the novel. Please don’t tell him. I do not wish to be tased.

What are you planning to read next?
I don’t know yet. See, what I do is, I gather two books from each genre, put them in an arena, and make them fight. The carnage is terrible. There are pages everywhere. Whatever survives, I read. 

Which book do you always recommend? 
There is no book I always recommend. Everyone is different. They’ll like different books. If you always recommend the same book to everyone, you’re not paying attention to who the other person is. What are you, some sort of narcissist? Does it always have to be about you? Does it? Huh?

What was the defining book of your childhood?
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr Seuss (HarperCollins). It’s the first book I remember reading. Crossing the line into literacy is a pretty defining moment. 

If you were a literary character you’d be …
None. Have my fate dictated by a writer? You know how they are. Free will for the win.

What’s your favourite book adaptation (film, television or theatre)?
The Secret Garden, directed by Agnieszka Holland. The book bored me as a child. I was not expecting the film to become one of my all-time favourites. 

The most accurate adaptation of a book, in terms of the quality ratio of book to films, is probably the Atlas Shrugged films.

That last paragraph means the comment section of the online version of this piece will now be filled with terrible people. I’m very sorry I did that to your website.

What’s your favourite books website or blog?
[Insert amusing yet self-effacing mention of my own blog so that it doesn’t look like I’m using this answer for self-promotion, because that would just be tasteless and wrong.]

[Note to self: They saw what you did there. It’s not working. Run away.]

[Flees.]

Also, Unshelved (http://unshelved.com) is fun. 

Hardback, paperback or digital?
Is this like ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ for books? What are the rules? What happens if I lose? Who am I playing against? Is it Jonathan Franzen? I AM PLAYING THIS GAME AGAINST JONATHAN FRANZEN AREN’T I NOW I HAVE FRANZEN ANXIETY THANKS SO MUCH BOOKS+PUBLISHING

Facebook or Twitter?
Facebook in the streets, Twitter in the sheets. No, I don’t know what that means, either. It sounded clever in my head. I am a professional writer, did you know that?

In 50 years’ time books will be …
Warped and mildewed if not properly cared for. Treat your books with respect, people.